‘Once you were dead because of your disobedience and your many sins. You used to live in sin, just like the rest of the world, obeying the devil—the commander of the powers in the unseen world. He is the spirit at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God. All of us used to live that way, following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature. By our very nature we were subject to God’s anger, just like everyone else. But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!) For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus. So God can point to us in all future ages as examples of the incredible wealth of his grace and kindness toward us, as shown in all he has done for us who are united with Christ Jesus. God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.’ Ephesians 2:1-10(NLT)
In our often fickle, easily angered world, it’s easy to assume God displays similar traits. As a result, we may fear that our sins, past or present, are too deep, or too persistent for Him to ever forgive. Perhaps we’re afraid He’ll lose His patience or cut us off entirely. Or maybe we simply believe we’re too dirty, too broken to ever be used and loved by God.
For a long time, that’s how I felt. I struggled to fully grasp and live in God’s grace. Whenever I lost my temper, said something unkind, or gave in to temptation though I’d confess my sin to God and apologize to whomever I wronged, I held tightly to guilt and self-condemnation. I focused on my moral failings—all my mistakes—more than the cross.
Two books helped me understand grace in a much deeper, more soul-healing way. The first was The Ragamuffin Gospel and though it didn’t contain any truths I hadn’t heard before, somehow reading about God’s love and mercy night after night helped those truths stick.
He quieted my fears with His perfect, steadfast love.
The second book, Saturate, was written by a pastor who appeared to have many of the same struggles and reactions I did. Once, while leading a small faith community in his home, he began treating his wife poorly. When the others called him out, he didn’t get defensive. Rather, he acknowledged his sin, confessed to God, apologized to his wife and the others, and moved on. Each time I read similar examples, my heart felt a little freer. Was it really that easy to live in grace, I wondered?
Years ago, while reading through Hebrews 11, sometimes referred to as the “faith chapter,” I asked my Bible professor why Abraham was often referred to as a man of faith when he clearly doubted God and often responded in fear. My professor’s response: Why are we called people of faith when we doubt Christ again and again? That’s grace.
I’m so thankful God’s grace and faithfulness isn’t dependent on me and my ability to love and serve Him perfectly. If that were possible, Jesus wouldn’t have had to die on the cross. But His death proved how desperately I need Him and the lengths He went to, to draw me near, wash me clean, and free me from all guilt and shame. In Christ, I find the strength to choose faith over fear and He gives His mercy and grace freely. All He asks me to do in response is receive the gift He’s given.
~Jennifer Slattery
from Faith Over Fear